Our mum survived cancer misdiagnosis - but dad then took his own life

When Mary Crowley was diagnosed with terminal cancer at the age of 67, her family turned their lives upside down in a bid to make her life as good as possible in the time she had left.

Mary and her husband David moved away from their beloved home in Tomintoul, Moray, in 2023. And their son moved his family from England to Scotland's central belt, so they could all be closer to each other.

However, when it later transpired there had actually been a misdiagnosis, David struggled to cope with the mixture of emotions - and took his own life at the age of 70 in early 2024.

The case emerged after the Scottish Public Services Ombudsman (SPSO) upheld a complaint from the family about the standard of care provided.

Mary has since completed her treatment for what was actually stage one breast cancer, and was free from cancer at her last appointment.

NHS Grampian has apologised for "errors" and the "distress" caused, but the family has spoken about the anger that remains about what happened.

The couple had been together since they were teenagers.

They got married in 1978, and moved to Tomintoul in the 1980s, where David worked as a GP, and Mary was the practice manager.

Mary noticed a breast dimple in early 2023.

A biopsy revealed cancer, and then after a MRI scan she was told she had stage four metastatic breast cancer.

"We were not expecting a late stage cancer diagnosis," daughter Lizzie, 46, told BBC Scotland News.

"There is always uncertainty in diagnosis, but this was conveyed as certainty.

"We automatically went into planning mode and made huge life-changing decisions."

The couple's other two children are Emily, 49, and 43-year-old Ed.

"We sold the family home which they both loved," Lizzie said of her mother and father's life in Tomintoul. "And my brother moved to Scotland from England."

It was all done "to look after my dad after, we assumed, our mum's demise".

Mary started treatment associated with the advanced disease - including teeth extractions - but David was questioning the diagnosis.

"As a former GP, he initially trusted what he was being told," Lizzie said.

"However, he became increasingly concerned and ultimately pushed very hard for independent second opinions when these were not being secured locally."

Eventually, stage one cancer was instead confirmed.

"One of the questions that still troubles me is what would have happened if my dad had not had the medical knowledge, confidence and determination to challenge the diagnosis," Lizzie said.

"My dad was so stressed by all of that. I don't think he believed that it was not true.

"It broke him, having to fight what he thought were trusted colleagues within the medical profession.

"My dad was diagnosed with acute adjustment disorder. While I fully recognise there is never a single cause, I have no doubt the cumulative impact of believing his wife had terminal cancer, uprooting their lives, battling for second opinions, and then struggling through a complaints process contributed significantly to his decline."

He took his own life in February two years ago.

"The causes of suicide are complex, but this was just seismic in terms of the disruption," Lizzie said of everything which preceded his death.

"It is absolutely tragic."

Widow Mary, who recently turned 70, said: "It is hard to have to go over all these tragic circumstances again but we as a family hope that doing so might make clinicians more thoughtful about diagnosis and being more approachable when thing have gone wrong.

"We made decisions because of my diagnosis of stage four cancer that we would not have done otherwise."

She explained: "My lovely husband took his own life, I believe, due to the stress of my cancer and all the upheaval of moving, and at the same time trying to get Aberdeen Royal Infirmary to downgrade my cancer staging.

"As there is a history of early dementia in his family background, he thought this was happening to him and that he would become a burden to all of us."

Lizzie described her mother as an "incredibly resilient" person, who volunteers at the Red Cross and goes to the gym.

"She has lost the other half of her," Lizzie said.

"She is absolutely devastated by it but is a very strong woman, and is making the best of life.

"There is a huge amount of anger. We do not want this to happen to another family.

"I am disgusted by the way my parents were treated."

The SPSO ruling confirmed that after speaking with a consultant the family understood metastatic stage four cancer had been detected.

The report noted they made "significant life-changing decisions based on this understanding".

The SPSO said another MRI scan then showed no convincing evidence of metastatic disease.

Dr Rafael Moleron, cancer lead clinician at NHS Grampian, said: "We completely accept the decision of the SPSO in this case.

"It is clear we did not provide Mrs Crowley with the care she expected or which we aspire to. We apologise unreservedly for our errors and the distress they caused."

He said "decisive action" had been taken to strengthen how clinical information was shared and recorded to ensure uncertainty and differing opinions are clearly documented.

"We are also enhancing communication with patients, so they are fully informed about their care and ensuring access to independent second opinions where concerns remain," he added.

"These actions are focused on improving transparency, supporting better clinical decision making, and delivering the highest standards of patient care."

If you have been affected by feelings of suicide or despair, you can contact the BBC's Action Line.