Kristian is also one of the youngest singers here tonight - only SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD, him and Isaiah should hang out! Unsurprisingly, he is also one of those precocious little demons who roll up their sleeves and fight their way onto national TV screens at a perilously young age. Here he is (before he discovered hairspray) getting enthusastically stuck into a ballad for The Voice Kids:

Little Kristian Kostov and his big quiff were absolutely smashing this song backstage earlier this week. Channeling some real Zayn Malik realness in that artful turtle neck. https://www.instagram.com/p/BTv-jqEB_HZ/?taken-by=bbceurovision

If you squint really hard Artem looks a bit like a young Orlando Bloom. 

All things considered this is actually quite a fun folk ballad! It's also the first ever entry from Belarus to be sung entirely in Belrusian and they deserve a special award for getting everyone involved in good foot-stomping sing-along backstage: 

Naviband even did a duet with (crikey this is a curveball...) JOSS STONE last year. 

Apparently Joss specifically requested a duet with them whilst she was driving through Belarus as part of her World Tour. 

Here's a video of what transpired. Watch out for Joss frantically squinting at the Belarusin lyics in her notebook before thinking 'ah sod this' and breaking into English:

Naviband even ditched the White Stripes outfits to hang out on a building site to smash out an eerie version of last year's winner '1944.' The resulting looks like it could be an deleted scene from 'The Force'

It's been a busy old year for Berlarus' Artem and Ksenia. 

They tried and failed to qualify as Belarus' contestants last year but promptly dusted themselves off and wrote the official anthem for the Belarusian football team 'Naperad Belakrylyja' which went something like this (I'm trying and failing to imagine a bunch of muddy mid-fielders enthusiastically belting this out in the changing rooms):

Belarusians on a boat! At least, I think its's boat…looks a bit like a decorative frying pan as well. 

This jolly duo is called Naviband (ahh yes NAVY BAND this is all starting to slowly make sense) and their real names are Artem Lukyanenka and Ksenia Zhuk. 

Their outfits are apparently traditional Belarusian patterns which symbolise earth, wind and fire. Hmmm, someone probably should have sent a memo to The White Stripes:

Jack White's lawyers will be in touch. 

If that weren't enough the lead singer in canary yellow, Miruna, says that she is a massive chocolate lover and spent her childhood driving around in her parents' car listening to...(Rammstein? Marilyn Manson?! Nine Inch Nails?) ...The Beatles. 

The most controversial thing about the drummer Samuel is that "out of the band members he's always the one with the most luggage. He doesn't travel light!" 

Long gone are the heady days of 1988 when Celine Dion won Eurovision for Switzerland (despite the fact she's definitely Canadian) wearing an iconic droopy tutu skirt and a pharmacist's jacket. 

Switzerland need to pull their neutral, chocolate making finger out this year; they came last in the semi finals of the last two competitions. 

Luckily tonight they've got Timebelle in their corner who are a three piece band formed in Bern (the capital of Switzerland - yes that's right Geneva is NOT THE CAPITAL CITY - put that in your pub quiz pipe and smoke it). 

Aleksander (jolly vocalist, Tyrolean hat) was actually roped in at the last minute to do this song and is most famous for being the Norwegian voice of Roberto in the cartoon 'Rio 2.' Here's a clip of him shaking his tail feathers (makes that plumed hat a bit sinister now doesn't it?):

Norway is also one of the longest serving competitors in the competition - this is their 56th year at Eurovision. 

They famously won Eurovision in 2009 but their competitor Alexander Rybak just as famously snapped the trophy in half. Oh dear. 

You'll be enchanted to learn that Norway is actually the LEAST successful country in Eurovision history. They have come last a grand total of 11 times. 

Perhaps the deep-rooted shame associated with this is the reason the DJ has put on that mask. And why their drummer has shrouded his identity away in a hoodie and is doing everyhting he can to make sure none of his mates spot him on TV. 

The front man Aleksander, by contrast, looks pretty chipper - probably because he's about to go for a hike up a Tyrolean mountain (if that excellent hat is anything to go by).

Top drawer vocals here from Jacques, you can see why he's so popular back home. I don't think there's many here tonight who could segueway between Andrea Bocelli and Nick Jonas impressions so artfully. 

Whilst you're here make sure you check out Jacques calligraphy-stuffed lyric video. It's just great - it gives you that weird swooping sensation in your stomach when you scroll through all the Font options on Microsoft Word. 

It also features a tiny dog which has been straightjacketed into a collar featuring a grim #hashtag. #didyou #learnnothing #fromgreeces #hastagladenvideo, external #enoughalready

If you're wondering why his voice is having an identity crisis every ten seconds it's because he collaborated with Swedish songwriter Tony Malm to create "two different personalities in one person co-existing and collaborating and celebrating their diversity." 

Ahhh I see #CelebrateDiversity. It all makes sense now.

Well, I think he wins the award for 'most-transparent-way-to-crowbar-the-motto-into-your-song-choice.' Congratualtions Jacques! Here he is getting stuck into an impromptu sing-along with the BBC team:

Valentina missed out on qualification last year (coming 12th) but is also the only San Marinese person to ever get into the final so this could really go either way. 

Fingers crossed Wilson doesn't scupper her chances with that sequin jacket.

She is joined by Jimmie Wilson (him and Nathan Trent should hang out and discuss their 'Grange Hill character' stage names) who is popping his Eurovision cherry tonight. His life motto is 'life a journey - enjoy the ride' so I think he's been listening to a pretty dodgy translation of Ronan Keating's best ever song. , external

Ah, excellent Valentina Monetta and Jimmie Wilson have arrived to favour us with 'Spirit of the Night.' Always a pleasure to see Valentina; she has represented San Marino on THREE different Eurovision competitions already in 2012, 2013 and 2014. 

This means she's smashed the most niche record of all time, becoming the first ever artist to represent a country four consecutive times at Eurovision. Carve her name with pride. (She came 24th last time with the song 'Maybe'). 

Brendan grew up busking the streets of Galway and singing in local talent competitions. 

ED SHEERAN also got really, really drunk last time he visited Galway and it is rumoured that he heard Brendan sing through his alcoholic stupor and wrote a smash hit song in response

Well, we've just plunged into the chorus which has revealed that lovely Brendan has got an astonishingly high range. Like Kurt Hummel from 'Glee' levels of high. Like Mariah Carey whistle notes kind of high. Like a boiling kettle sort of high. 

This was made all too apparent when he did a jamming session with Australia's Isaiah and Israel's Imri and sang Beyonce's 'Halo' AT PITCH (thereby smashing Isaiah and Imri out of the room).

Bey's lawyers will be in touch.