Rio Ferdinand admits he finds it hard watching his Manchester United team- mates struggle while he is banned for eight months for missing a drugs test.
The appeal against the defender's ban will be heard next Thursday and Friday and he is desperate to make a return.
"It is disappointing and frustrating to say the least. I'd be lying if I said I was enjoying my time. I'd much rather be out there playing," said Ferdinand.
"Training with the boys and being among the banter is keeping me afloat."
United have kept only one clean sheet in the 10 games since Ferdinand started his ban, they are nine points behind Arsenal in the Premiership and crashed out of the Champions League on Tuesday.
But Ferdinand knows even if his ban is quashed it would take him a while to return to match fitness.
He added: "People will say I'm having a holiday but I'm not. I am working to stay fit.
"I won't have a problem with ballooning up. I'm a slim lad so I don't put weight on.
"But keeping match fit is a totally different ball game. No matter what training I do, it will take me a good few weeks and a few games to get match fit again."
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