Since I started training for the London Marathon just after Christmas, I've gone from really looking forward to it to thinking, 'why am I putting myself through this again?'
The daunting thought of the race day itself is getting to me now. I've not run the full 26 miles in training - most people don't either.
Steve gets back on the treadmill at home for the remaining gentle runs
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It is a satisfying feeling to have all the long training runs out the way but at the back of my mind I know the hardest is still to come.
Because of my sporting background I know the training is just something you have to do - I did it for 25 years.
Last weekend I did my final, long training run. It was OK but not without a few hiccups.
I was very comfortable running for the first two hours and then I started to struggle after about 155 minutes.
You do hit the stage when you think, 'I'd rather just stop now, get in the car and drive home.'
I just kept telling myself this was my final long run and that all the hard work and distance is behind me now.
But I then started getting a pain in my left calf and I had to stop eventually because I was hobbling more than running.
I am a bit concerned about this calf. I think I can run on it but what concerns me is for how long? I will have some treatment on it but I have no idea if it will come back during the marathon.
Apart from that I was pleased with the run. I managed to keep going for 160 minutes and covered just over 17 miles so it was a reasonable speed.
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There are still plenty of distractions to stop me worrying too much about the race itself
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Mentally, I'm more positive than I was a few weeks ago but I wish I hadn't been ill. The first part of the training had gone so well and I would have loved to have broken four hours, but I don't think that is a realistic aim now.
When setbacks happen you just have to get on with the rest of your life but at the back of my mind I know the marathon is coming up.
I'm making sure I'm not having too many late nights and that I'm eating properly and resting.
There is a special dinner to mark the 25th anniversary of the marathon next Thursday and I have been invited, but apart from that I've cleared my diary.
But there are still plenty of distractions to stop me worrying too much about the race itself.
I have been a Chelsea fan since the late 1960s and I'll be glued to the TV watching how they go on in the Champions League.
I don't know if we can go through - our struggle is we haven't really got a consistent goalscorer.
So between me and the marathon and Chelsea and the Champions League, it could be a nervous few days all round.