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The
things I do for you. No, really. You wouldn't believe what I put
myself through. Still, sometimes it's in the public interest...
The
Bull and I decided to catch a weekday film matinee. We were in a
bit of a rush, so rather than cooking some lunch at home, we decided
to grab a bite to eat before the showing.
We
didn't want to spend much, so rather than picking one of the various
Don Valley eateries, we decided to try the bar at Valley Centertainment
UGC Cinema instead.
What
a mistake.
First
problem: availability of food. The Bull wanted a burger; I asked
for a baguette. Both had catchy, film-related titles that a PR exec
had clearly spent hours agonising over.
Neither
were available.
We
eventually discovered that baked potatoes were available. I ordered
a tuna and cheese one (the cheese was not optional) and the Bull
ordered a chilli one.
The
till was broken and so the bar couldn't accept card payments. This,
plus the food factor, left their one unfortunate employee flustered
and grumpy.
She
had the hopeless look of someone who had been instructed to row
a sabotaged boat with chopsticks for oars, with only a cup with
a hole in the bottom to bale out with.
Around
us, well-heeled pensioners milled confusedly, attempting to buy
cups of tea.
This
all happened to a background track of unanswered phones crying out
pathetically for attention. Worthy/poor films' trailers showed in
the background, desperately trying to catch our eyes and entice
us in.
We
received the food 20 minutes later - the poor bar woman was cook
and waitress as well - and the Bull's was chilli cheese. We decided
not to complain - the film was starting shortly and we were ravenous.
I looked
at my food. My heart fell. It looked like something my cat would
throw up, only larger and colder.
"I'm
scared," I whimpered.
"Everything
is smothered in cheese," the Bull replied enigmatically.
We
were starving. Still, we were able to do little more than pick at
the frankly revolting platefuls before us.
My
baked potato was dry and unappetising. The tuna/cheese sludge was
unspeakably awful. There were undoubtedly more ingredients than
fish and cheese. I dread to think what they were. I could live quite
happily for the rest of my life without that knowledge.
We
dashed into our film as soon as we could, broken-spirited and empty-bellied.
Mind you, we weren't hungry any more - the "food" we had
been presented with had put us right off.
I'm
sorry to have to do this, but I really don't feel that I can award
any moos at all. Disgusting, foul, and hopefully the worst meal
I shall ever encounter. I can't imagine it getting much worse, that's
for sure.
The
only good thing I can say? We made it out alive. I was relieved,
and not a little surprised. Oh, and the film was great.
kris
i totally agree. me and my fiancee went to the same bar for a pre-film snack and was also told they were not selling food at that time and we have been told this everytime we have been. Apalling if you ask me. 28/03/05
Amy
When my friends and I have been to the cinema and wanted food, we have always been told they arn't serving food at that time, no matter when we go. we are beggining to wonder if they actually serve food at all!?!
Mags
You were lucky you got food.
My fella and I went to the Cinema to see a flim on a rare afternoon off. We ordered drinks and excitedly rifled the menu to treat ourselves to a pre-movie snack. When we finally picked we were told by a very sullen barmaid that she was the only member of staff on and she didn't do food.
It's a good job they have a good choice of movies as the food and staff are abismal, the bar prices are also extortionate.
I agree, sell it back to Virgin!
Sarah
writes:
Just a quickie to say I totally agree with your review of Centertainment!
To cut a long story short we went there a few months ago now - me,
friend - Ellie, brother - Matt and his girlfriend - Su. No veggie
food for me. Su ordered a Hotdog and the waitress actually went
downstairs to the refreshments bit by the cinema entrance, got a
hotdog then trailed it all through the cinema up to the bar, took
it in the back, put it on a plate then brought it out! We did complain,
but recieved no indication that it would not happen again. Needless
to say we haven't eaten there since.
Shame
because it used to be really nice when it was run by Virgin.
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