Episode 9 : "Mad Science!"
September 2007
EXT. AN OUTDOOR LAB SOMEWHERE IN ORKNEY - DAY
Our group are attending the Orkney Science Festival. They are wearing white-coats, rubber gloves and goggles, standing around a metal table loaded with lab instruments, holding cups in their hands.
MORAG : Okay folks, pour some H2O into your receptacles ...
They remove individual glass vessels off small burners in front of them, and pour the water into their cups.
MELODAIDH : Wow. I feel like a real scientist, Morag.
Morag, although largely hidden behind her scarf, can be seen to beam proudly.
MORAG (CONT’D) : Take a spoonful of powder and add it in.
MUNRO : What are we making again?
Morag : Patience, Munro. Now, pour in some emulsion of butterfat globules...
MUNRO : It better explode at the end.
MORAG : ... stir, and take a wee sip.
Munro : (drinks from his cup) TEA?! We made ordinary tea.
MORAG : A scientifically perfect cuppa!
Munro puts his cup down, disappointed, and Dwelly pops out of it, wet but smiling.
DWELLY: Dè tha sibh a’ dèanamh? (What are you doing?)
Munro : (in broken Gaelic) Tha sinn a’ dèanamh ‘bog standard’ tì ... apparently
(We’re making bog standard tea, apparently!)
DWELLY : (in Gaelic) Thusa? ... A’ Ghàidhlig? .... Nach math sin! (You? ... Gaelic? I’m impressed! (Literally: Isn’t that good!))
Munro: Yeah, but I wanted it to explode!
Dwelly snaps his fingers and everyone’s teacups explode, splattering liquid everywhere.
DWELLY : (in Gaelic, cheekily) ’S e ’m balach Dwelly! (Don’t mess with Dwelly!)
DWELLY : (laughs) Next month you better keep your eye on the ball.
Brochan has been slurping tea from a pool on the table, but turns his attention to licking the wet Dwelly. Dwelly flees back into the ground.
Gaelic used in this episode
Dè tha sibh a’ dèanamh? - What are you doing?
Tha sinn a’ dèanamh ‘bog standard’ tì! - We’re making bog standard tea!
Thusa? A’ Ghàidhlig? Nach math sin! - You? Gaelic? I’m impressed! (Literally: Isn’t that good!))
’S e am balach Dwelly! - Don’t mess with Dwelly!
The End
The fun continues next month. Make sure you turn on and tune in then for another scientifically perfect episode of Air Splaoid!
