Episode 3 : Close-up capers!
March 2007
EXT. A harbour that resembles Portree - Day.
View through video camera - close up of a clapboard reading: TARTAN BOLLYWOOD PRODUCTIONS, ‘THE DOG PRINCE’, TAKE 37.
MORAG (O.C.): Cue music, and ... ACTION!
BROCHAN barks. Clapboard chops to reveal MELODAIDH, dressed in a traditional Indian sari, kneeling down by BROCHAN, clad in a red cape. In the background is a picturesque harbour and brightly painted houses. Brochan puts his two front paws on Melodaidh’s shoulders.
MELODAIDH: Oh, my handsome prince ... turned into an ugly dog!
Brochan howls, offended. Camera pans out to show whole group and filming gear. MUNRO is the sound-man, holding a long boom and wearing large headphones. He rips off the large cans to reveal his usual small earphones underneath.
MUNRO: Brochan ... you’re deafening me!
Brochan keeps on howling and runs to SEANAIR, the camera-man, for comfort. Seanair gives him a biscuit. MORAG, the director, wearing sunglasses and holding a megaphone in one hand and a teacup in the other, is not happy at all.
MORAG: Never work with kids and animals ... (to the others) If we could try it one more time? Positions please ...
SEANAIR: Hold on, hold on ... checking focus. (He puts his binoculars in front of the camera lens.) ...There we go, clear as the view from Ben More on a fine summer’s day.
MORAG: (wearily) And ... action!
MELODAIDH: My handsome prince ...
She is interrupted by Brochan yelping as a flower wraps itself around his tail. Dwelly pops out.
DWELLY: Cut! Prince?! Was that my cue? Or was it your cue to thank me for giving you such an easy challenge? Dè ur beachd?
SEANAIR, MORAG & MELODAIDH: Tha gu math, Dwelly!
DWELLY: Och, your Gaelic needs a lot of work! ...Anyway, I’ve got a real cool treat lined up for you next month. Surfing in the north of Scotland!
MELODAIDH cheers, the rest shout "NO".
DWELLY: No!? ...’S e ’m balach Dwelly!
Dwelly snaps his fingers and the weather turns icy. As Dwelly enjoys the chaos he has created, a block of ice, with Morag frozen inside, overbalances and lands on Dwelly, squashing him flat...
Gaelic used in this episode
Dè ur beachd? - What do you say?
Tha gu math, tapadh leibh - Fine, thanks
'S e 'm balach Dwelly! - Don't mess with Dwelly
The End
Come back next month for another exciting episode of Air Splaoid!
