Episode 7 : “Bum notes!”
July 2007
EXT. B&B SOMEWHERE IN THE OUTER HEBRIDES - DAY
On the balcony of a B&B, overlooking the sea, our group practice CHOIR SINGING and ‘Fear A’ Bhàta’ is their song of choice.
BROCHAN, a stick in his paw and a music stand in front of him, struggles to get them to sing harmoniously. He taps his stick a few times.
MELODAIDH : (sings) “Fhir a’ bhàta, na ho ro eile ...”
Morag, a cuppa in hand as usual, slurps her tea just at the moment when she’s supposed to come in.
MORAG : (a few beats too late and gurgling) “Fhir a’ bhàta, na ho ro eile ...”
SEANAIR doesn’t wait for his cue and breaks into an operatic version of ‘Fear A’ Bhàta’.
SEANAIR: “Mo shoraidh slàn leat ...”
MUNRO, earphones on, kicks in with his own rock version of the song.
MUNRO : “’s gach àit’ an tèid thu!”
It’s a complete CACOPHONY! Poor Brochan chucks his conducting stick away in frustration. The stick hits Dwelly who pops out of the ground, disoriented, a red bump sticking out of his forehead. He leans on Brochan’s stick for support.
DWELLY: (in Gaelic) Càite bheil mi? (Where am I?)
SEANAIR : (in Gaelic) Ann an taigh leabaidh is bracaist (In a a bed and breakfast)
MORAG : Far a bheil sinn a’ fuireach! (Where we're staying)
DWELLY: (a bit more recovered) You must have made all the other guests run away with your singing.
MELODAIDH : Hey listen, we’re pretty good! (sings out of key)
“’S tric mi sealltainn”
Dwelly SNAPS his fingers, making her sing from the top of her lungs but produce no sound.
DWELLY : (in Gaelic) ’S e ’m balach Dwelly! - (Don’t mess with Dwelly.)
(Dwelly hands Brochan his conducting stick back)
Brochan, please--
Brochan taps a few times and --
-- in a complete contrast to what we expect and know of Dwelly, he breaks into beautiful, perfectly in tune,angelic singing.
DWELLY
Fhir a’ bhàta, na ho ro eile
Fhir a’ bhàta, na ho ro eile
Mo shoraidh slàn leat ’s gach àit’ an tèid thu!
Brochan barks enthusiastically as Dwelly takes a bow.
DWELLY
Next month you’d all better JAZZ things up a bit!
Dwelly STAMPS his foot down for emphasis, which causes the music stand to collapse on his head.
Gaelic used in this episode
Càite bheil mi? – Where am I?
Ann an taigh leabaidh is bracaist - In a bed and breakfast
Far a bheil sinn a’ fuireach! – Where we're staying!
’S e am balach Dwelly! - Don’t mess with Dwelly!
The End
Air Splaoid! …. returns next month with another exciting animation. Tune in then!
