Episode 8 : “Jazz club!”
August 2007
INT. SMALL STAGE - NIGHT
We meet our characters on a small, club-venue style stage, during the Nairn Jazz Festival. There’s a drum kit and other instruments set up on the stage.
MUNRO is sitting behind the drum kit, with SEANAIR, dressed like a big band leader, perched on a stool, wielding a trumpet. MELODAIDH stands behind a double bass. MORAG wheels in a tea trolley.
MORAG : Come on Seanair... give us some Dixieland jazz.
Seanair blows ineffectually into the trumpet ... he can’t even produce so much as a squeak.
SEANAIR : Ach, it’s no use... Munro’s the one with the musical talent in the family.
MELODAIDH : Come on Munro, play us a tune.
Munro blushes bright red.
MUNRO : Well I’m more into indie stuff... I don’t really do jazz.
MORAG : Well, just play us something.
Munro’s being shy.
SEANAIR : He’s a fantastic drummer... I bet he could pick up jazz music in a moment.
MELODAIDH : Really? Come on superstar, show me what you can do.
Munro can’t resist Melodaidh’s teasing challenge and unleashes a frenzied barrage of drumbeats, that sound freeform and very LOUD!
The noise makes the others take cover in fright. Brochan lands on a horn, and with a PAAARP, Dwelly pops out, jamming his finger into his one ear.
DWELLY: (shouts) Who let him near the drumkit?
Seanair, Morag and Melodaidh can’t hear him as they all have their hands over their ears.
SEANAIR : (shouts back) Oh, deoch ... Ceart ma-tha ... Dè tha thu ag iarraidh? (Oh, a drink... ok, what would you like?)
MORAG : (shouts back) Chan eil, chan eil an t-acras orm! - (No, I’m not hungry!)
Dwelly SNAPS his fingers and Munro’s drumsticks slowly waft skywards attached to balloons, bringing his errant drumming to a halt.
DWELLY : (wearily) ’S e ’m balach Dwelly! (Don’t mess with Dwelly!)
In obvious relief, Seanair, Morag and Melodaidh take their hands from their ears.
DWELLY : Since you folks like experimenting...
(glances at Munro)
... and not very successfully, next month’s challenge is a science festival.
Brochan blows into the trombone and a LOUD PAAAARP blasts Dwelly back underground.
Gaelic used in this episode
Oh, deoch ... Ceart ma-tha ... Dè tha thu ag iarraidh? – Oh, a drink... ok, what would you like?
Chan eil, chan eil an t-acras orm! - No, I’m not hungry!
’S e am balach Dwelly! - Don’t mess with Dwelly!
The End
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