Despite the benefit of a private education, Stuart Goldsmith, 29, has wasted the last eight years as a street-performer, simpering at the gainfully employed and being spat on. He is a dilettante, counting tightrope-walker, continuity writer and now adds stand-up comic to his so-called careers. He dresses in the style of a male prostitute, which may explain his disastrous love-life.

An only child, Sam Hutchinson, 27, whiled away his youth wearing a variety of hats in the West Midlands. His schooling was modest, but his arrogance immense. Upon arrival in London, he took up work as a librarian and Soho lounge-lizard, but now settles his flamboyant tailor's bills by doing something spurious with technology. He has long given up the pursuit of the fairer sex, in favour of gentlemen's clubs and revenge.
Sketch: G-Force follows the call-to-arms transmissions of two field agents from an organisation so secret is does not even exist.