|
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
If
Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer
to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
EATING
OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw
in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them
will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want
change back.
When
the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he wants.
A woman
will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything
a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats.
Men
say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful
woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man
marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
DRESSING
UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man
will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
LOOK
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women
somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears, and hopes and dreams.
A man
is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
|
