Twelve nuggets of festive advice

On the first day of Christmas, BBC Bitesize sent to me…

…some cracking advice in lieu of a pear tree!

Alright, so it's not the first day of Christmas yet - but there's no harm in some support in the meantime. Even if you usually look forward to the holidays, some aspects of the season can be difficult to deal with. Whether a white Christmas makes you a bit blue or you’re just stressed over holiday prep, Bitesize is here to help. Here is your support advent calendar full of festive tips and advice.

1. If lockdown has affected your sleep schedule

This tip probably makes you want to yawn - but sleep is an integral part of balancing mood and keeping your brain healthy. Getting good quality sleep is just as important as getting the right amount, and the change in routine that comes with lockdown might have affected this. In the run-up to Christmas, try unwinding for at least two hours before bed, and removing all screens at least an hour before and see how this improves your sleeping habits.

2. If you have to deal with difficult comments

For some, spending time with the family might be the highlight of the year, but others might be preparing for those questions and comments that put us down. Maybe you have a particular family member who always draws attention to things you're insecure about - for example, making comments about your appearance, school and work, or your relationship status. Your family member might think they're being helpful by criticising you, so you could try and explain why this hurts you and give them advice on how to phrase their concerns better if you feel able to. You could also write a list of meaningful compliments people have given you, and come back to the list when a comment has upset you.

3. If you suffer from SAD

According to the NHS, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a type of mood disorder which comes and goes in a seasonal pattern. It’s been linked to reduced exposure to light in the shorter days of autumn and winter and can affect appetite, sleep, hygiene, motivation and mood. It’s important to develop ways to cope with SAD and focus on self-care, especially if lockdown has added to the stresses of SAD. Try taking a walk in the fresh air when possible and getting up early to soak in as much sunlight as you can, as this might help boost your mood. If you think you may be suffering from SAD and are finding it difficult to cope, talk to your GP.

4. If social media impacts your mental health

Quarantine might have caused you check social media more regularly, but nothing contributes more to FOMO (the ‘fear of missing out’) than looking at other people’s holiday plans. It’s good to be vigilant if you feel this happening - consider unfollowing accounts which trigger FOMO, or taking scheduled breaks with no social media. Focus on making your own holiday as pleasant as possible, put your feet up and enjoy yourself!

5. If you know a loved one struggles

Perhaps it’s not you that finds the holidays hard, but a loved one. If you notice someone is a bit blue around the winter months or you just want to check in, letting them know you’re thinking of them can help them feel seen and maybe even help them open up. Consider reading up on some tips about how to be a good listener here.

6. If your parents are separated

Maybe you're used to having two Christmases but restrictions this year mean you have to choose one household to celebrate with. This can be painful and feel like you're "picking a side", but try to focus on the good things you'll be experiencing. Talk to a trusted adult about how you're feeling in the situation, and don't forget that you can connect over video chat. Also, the actual date of the holiday isn't so important - you could always have another celebration next time you're reunited with the other side of your family.

7. If you can't go home for the holidays

As social distancing rules can rapidly change, visiting family can be difficult. While many of us aren’t face-to-face in reality, our brains can still release oxytocin from seeing our loved ones through a screen. Remember that spending time with them over the phone might help bust your holiday stress and make you feel warm inside.

Try to prioritise yourself and focus on self-care. Self-care can mean many things, from changing your bedsheets to treating yourself to a hot chocolate. Identifying your needs over the holiday is the first step to looking after yourself - take some time away from the wrapping and decorating and focus on you. Remember to reach out to friends or trusted family members who can support you if you're tackling loneliness.

8. If you're grieving

Facing Christmas after the death of a loved one can be especially hard. Remember that it’s okay if the holidays aren’t a happy time for you. Take note of your feelings and consider reaching out to someone you trust to talk about them if you need.

9. If you're feeling stressed

No stress or worry is 'too small', and being mindful can help us put them into perspective. Mindfulness is often used as a technique for managing stress and anxiety. If the turkey and the tinsel are getting a bit too overwhelming, start by taking a deep breath through the nose and focus on your breathing. Do it a few times and you should feel a lot calmer.

10. If you expect to hear bigoted comments

Maybe you have family members who use offensive language to describe people from different nationalities, cultures and sexualities, perhaps without even realising it is offensive. If you feel safe to do so, you can gently question the terms they use and explain to them why they should rephrase their language. If you don't feel safe enough to challenge it, withdrawing from the situation to protect your mental health is perfectly okay.

11. If your family is facing hardship

Christmas can be particularly difficult if you're feeling anxious about money, your parents’ job security or their health. Trust that they will be receiving advice of their own and perform little acts of kindness, such as offering to help out with the cooking or the household chores. Focussing on looking after yourself could be the biggest help to your parents at this time.

12. If you have social distancing rules within the family

Dodging each other and disinfecting the door handles can be really tricky to navigate, and might feel isolating in your own home. Remind yourself of the reason - by being cautious around your family members you're keeping them safe. Try focussing on the good things in this situation: for example, you can still talk to your family members from across the room.

If you need support

You should always tell someone about the things you’re worried about. You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher or other trusted adult. If you'd like to speak to someone outside of your immediate circle, here are some places to find help:

• If you need urgent help, you can contact Shout who run a Crisis Text Line. It's available 24 hours a day for anyone in the UK. Text CONNECT to 85258

• You can also visit Childline and Young Minds for support and helpful resources.