Joe Bryan: How talking helped with my mental health

The importance of our mental health is perhaps a more prominent message these days, but it can still be challenging to talk about our feelings. Especially if you’re a man.

Somebody fully aware of the issue is football player Joe Bryan, currently on loan to French team Nice from Premier League club Fulham. He spoke to the BBC about his experiences with anxiety, and how talking his problems through made a real difference.

He said: “Over the course of a few months I had a serious hamstring injury, I moved into an apartment that didn’t feel like home, these little tiny life things, I just felt down, kind of numb, dulled, everything was a bit strange like I was running through a cloud, that kind of stuff.”

The importance of opening up

The left-back explained how he withdrew from the people around him and would either not speak to people, or be snappy with them. From a health perspective, he suffered with headaches and stomach trouble and didn’t want to leave his bed. It was only when his club physio noticed something was wrong that he started to open up.

“I just think speaking out helps that view of, ‘Oh, I’m weak because I’m going through this’,” Joe said, “Not thinking that you’re attractive, someone looks better than me at the gym, performing poorly at their job, all these tiny little things that in your head. You go, ‘I don’t know why I feel like this, I don’t know why I’m thinking this, I’m not going to tell anyone because I’m embarrassed’.

“I can guarantee that nearly every man or woman goes through the same thought processes and thought patterns.”

A stigma that is disappearing?

Joe firmly believes that the stigma of men being seen as ‘weak’ for talking about these things is gradually fading and his advice to anyone is to share how they feel with a group of friends.

He said: “I’ve had conversations with my friends over the past couple of months that they’ve been struggling and they’ve said “No we shouldn’t talk about these things, let’s just have fun. And I’m like, ‘no’, this is an important part of friendship.

“Anyone going through these things, they’re a completely normal part of life, whether you’re a lorry driver, a binman, a footballer or the Prime Minister, everyone has these little life things that can really add up. It’s just about, I think, opening up and sitting and having a conversation like this and saying, ‘Ah, I’ve had a rubbish few days, I broke up with my girlfriend, had an argument with my best mate and it’s completely normal’.”

Looking after yourself

You should always tell someone about the things you’re worried about. You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher, or another trusted adult.

If you're struggling with your mental health, going to your GP can be a good place to start to find help. Your GP can let you know what support is available to you, suggest different types of treatment and offer regular check-ups to see how you’re doing.

If you’re in need of in-the-moment support you can contact Childline, where you can speak to a counsellor. Their lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

There are more links to helpful organisations on BBC Action Line.

This article was published in October 2022.